Wednesday, November 11, 2009
haha i guess i'm functioning normally again!
feel like a load is lifted off my shoulders. maybe it's really girls' natural instinct to think too much.
will update more soon! when i have the time! only got half an hour left to my show with the SHUAI ahsir =D nobody agrees with me though. :( hahaha.
KNOW HOW RELIEF FEELS LIKE? ;)
thank you, Lord.
tell me, please?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
have you ever felt your hands getting so cold and clammy..
not only because of the many fans in the classroom.. but because of the own icy worry in you.
have you ever felt your heart race on and on, so fast you have no idea how to slow it down..
not because of what you should be nervous of at the moment, but of something else that is more frightening, that you could just give up everything for it not to happen.
when you hold on to the people around you, making up an excuse for the need for comfort..
to push away that fear, and cease those tears you know might fall.
have you ever tried so hard, pushing everything to the back of your mind because you know you can't fail to lose your concentration..
only to have them surface again, haunting you on and on.
Monday, November 09, 2009
when you sit beside the window at night;
looking out; at the lights, the streets, the roads;
people, how little.
those favourite songs, softly playing on;
a futile attempt, to sooth those nerves.
hope, trying to push its way through;
the thick layer of fear;
disenchanted, the hope was gone;
and the fear became real.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
-seeking refuge.
i wanna go swimming!
& THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA is showing tonight! :D
Friday, November 06, 2009
i'm feeling quite traumatised right now because i just downloaded a new version of the Windows Live Messenger (i didn't want to! they freaking forced me to by threatening that they won't let me sign in if i don't), and everything looks so different! my nice nice name colour can't be seen omg.
hmmph.
never mind i shall consult everyone on what to do when i go back for pw on sat. maybe nothing can be done! hahaha.
ok anyway, yesterday four of the groups went to school for abit of pw, and then we all went to eat Pastamania at bishan together! (well, most of us anyway.)
all of us got pissed off (more than pissed off actually) by the @#$%^&*! teacher. freaking pissed off! why is there such an unreasonable and mean teacher in the world. seriously man.
F*** her! hahahahah. that's what me and yanchng kept saying after the freaking phone call. =X you should pardon us because she deserves the choice of vocabulary!
they say she's just a LUMP of thing, hahaha and we should all rebel against her when we don't need her anymore! hmmph.
hope it went okay for the two groups today! and hope someone gave her a piece of our mind. xiaohui dont be daunted by her!!!
:D :D :D
oh and guess what? i got myself CONVERSE SHOES!
yanchng got a pair the other day because there was a sale, so yesterday i went to check it out with the rest of them after pastamania. hehe omg the whole throng of us were there while only i was choosing shoes :/ thanks you all! =P
didn't buy it at first cos i wanted to bring ahbian to see it when i meet her afterwards. so we all shopped around j8 (quite long since i've been there! it brought back the phs feel because we kept going there last time)
spent a very long time in FOX because we were all wowing over the sweaters and the other pretty stuff :D
then met bian! hahaha. it seems like we're forever meeting at bishan. LOL.
went to buy the shoes, got bubble tea at the usual place, then went to sit at the bus interchange again. ;) chatted chatted, and then i went down to read my book at the library. haha it's like becoming my favourite pasttime already!
met wolfie for dinner, at Mosburger! quite long since i ate there already.
went home, and here i am today, slacking and enjoying life at home because there's no school today! with no pw cos we are rehearsing on alternate days for the sake of our physical and mental health. HAHA.
this means pw early in the morning tomorrow though! dry run in school!
hopefully i can memorise my script properly by tonight. and guess what i think i have a bit of sore throat, abit of flu, and abit of cough. feeling abit unwell! gosh. hope it doesn't affect my OP!
look forward to tuesday, when we can all finally say Byebye to PW! yay! stinky pw! :P
- the bittersweet reality of life.
sometimes you just let those thoughts run through your mind, and then wonder why, why, and why..
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
i hope these mood swings of mine will be gone soon! before i do something that i will regret. haha.
i HAVE noticed my now easily sparkled temper, of which i show at times, and at other times just let it bubble underneath.
geez i never used to be so easily irritated! i used to have a wonderful temperament, where little things fail to rile me at all.
maybe i'm getting more sensitive, maybe i've just lost abit of my sense of security. and sometimes i just wonder whether i should take more things in my stride...
aiya i really don't know what's up with me nowadays. maybe i should attribute it to pms but i know it's not! hahaha okay hope it'll really be gone soon.
i wanna be the sweet lijia again!
HAHAHA :p
Sunday, November 01, 2009
just watched The Secret again on channel u.
after... 2 years? guess it's still one of the most memorable and meaningful movie for me yet. HAHA.
although it's the second time already, third time if you considered i read the book once, but it still didn't fail to captivate me, though maybe not as much as the first time, of course.
jaychou is still so charming, and it's still such a touching movie. ❤
我是路小雨。我爱你。你爱我吗？
hey people! it's Sunday already, how time flies past so quickly! in a flash the whole week is gone and my weekends are going to be over soon!
nowadays the arrival of the weekends doesn't elicit in me much excitement, a far drop from the amount last time! haha because the weekends doesn't constitute much difference from the weekdays now anymore :D except for the waking-up-early (double eww) part of course.
sometimes i even prefer the weekdays because i'll get to go to school and see the rest of them ^^
many things to talk about! but firstly, the great news from this week:
I GOT MY BILLABONG WALLET BACK!!
with everything still inside, nothing gone at all! i didn't even remember i had that much money inside lah. SO HAPPY!! cg there're no stupid thieves this time! ;)
mummy accompanied me to the very very ulu police station in paya lebar to collect it. she spent so much time helping me to cancel my cards etc, and then now that the wallet is found, bringing me there because she knows i wouldn't know how to go.
and then when she reached there she had to stand outside while i went in to collect it because only one person is allowed at a time! -.-
made me feel so touched :)
so after the celebratory collection, we went to renew my passport, then went to bugis for dinner and walkwalk! i think the last time we went to bugis together it was also after some passport thing. HAHA.
great night spent there with her :D
had pastamania with yanchng at northpoint after school on friday! we termed that as our "first date"! hahahaha. not really lah but kind of. LOL.
had the "new" pasta with the soup base. quite yummy! but i think i'd still prefer my creamy sauces since changes have never been my thing. HAHA.
then afterwards she went for her ogl interview, while i spent a really really blissful two hours in the library alone, borrowing books and reading one of them at some corner of the library.FIVE out of the six books i borrowed were youth books! hahahaha i rediscovered my love for them on tuesday when i grabbed some short books from there to read while wolfie was doing his pw because i couldnt borrow any books.
i shall do this more often man! what a joy to sit there and do nothing but read and read in the warmth of my hoody.
at some point in time the rain started pouring outside, and it added to the bliss even more! :D :D i've always been wanting to spend an afternoon this way! hahaha.
although i just found out that yesterday was actually Halloween, but i would like to say i had a really
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! =D
spent the morning doing pw with two other groups in the class at RP, and then went..... SWIMMING with jasmine and jingshi at woodlands swimming complex! (that day i didn't go because wolfie had an injury on his leg, so i was really excited ytd.)
SWIMMING!
SWIMMINGGG!!
SWIMMINNNGGGG!!!
omg its been such a long time since i went swimming i was so happy once i got into the water. the feeling there is simply irreplaceable! the swimming pool smell mixed in with the fresh air, and the buzzle of the people there, there's nothing else like that!
we'd swim for one or two laps, and then stop to chat for a much longer time before resuming again.. and this continued until we realised how late it had become! haha time flew!
but that wasn't before i spotted a swimming coach who looked distinctly like mine last time.
his face has changed (and his swimsuit, if not i'd recognise him instantly -.-), but his voice triggered my memory, and also er... the way he jumped into the water. HAHAHA.
and so i kept wondering whether its him, when a few kids called out "UNCLE NICO!!" and so yeah man IT'S REALLY HIM!!!
lol ohman! felt so cool to see him again after like six years! ^^
we decided to stop swimming finally, but we spotted the new jaccuzzi and went to try it out. hahaha we were so fascinated! and tried hard to make sure we didnt float away because of the force of the "massager"
so after that we went to join the rest of the people at zhiheng's house for steamboat. ate till i was more than 100% full i think, and then started playing bridge.
MY FIRST TIMEE!! i finally understood why the game is so fun! and when you lose you'll feel this sense of indignation, and will wanna try again. i won 2/3 times btw! heheh tyty! :P
then played mahjong, and had icecream!
really enjoyed myself alot alot, eating, playing, chatting and laughing.
it seriously felt like a chalet over there. luckily his parents aren't around, because all of us made so much noise. :D
cheers :D
anyway, some pictures that i didn't have time to post last time. :)
18TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY. ❤ Lower Seletar Reservoir.
ZHONG QIU JIE! :D
the children saw our big creation and came over to look and read out what we made! lmao seriously. traumatising man.
yeah that's all for now! look forward to next tuesday, when op will finally END!! YAYYYY!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
THE WEATHER IS SO GOOD NOW :D
with the window open beside me while i'm starting to do I&R.
hope it stays this way when i go swimming later!
YAY SWIMMING! FINALLY!! =D
Monday, October 26, 2009
i love rainy days and, rainy nights, more so. :)Sunday, October 25, 2009
MY NEW BLOGSKIN IS NICE EH!
for now, goodbye to my skin for about THREE years (ohmy). WELCOME THE NEW ONE! *claps claps*
tag at my tagboard which looks so nice here :D hahahaha.
GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE! ;)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
:D i shall blog on a frequent basis nowadays, because i think i ought to be pretty guilty about the quantitiy of my posts this year as compared to previous years. heh.
anyway! about my last post (the emo one :P), i'm ok! results werent good, but werent as bad as i expected. was quite sad initially, but after moderation my mood flew to up to the mountains, and i was really relieved. :D
nevertheless, i must really do better next time, and finally, for the next big exam of our lives! so i must work harder soon and into next year :)
stupid stella: huh why are u sad?
me: cos my results are not good :(
ss: huh.... *blah blah blah*
ss: but then u pass everything right?
me: NO! i failed two! (cos this conv took place before the moderation thing)
ss: *laughs indiscreetly* YOU WILL FAIL DE MEH?! ohman why u will fail one! *tries to hide laughter*
LOL THE MEAN GIRL! LMAO.
but yeah thank you for all of you (yes stellasong this includes you -.-) who showed your concern for me, and who were there! really really touched. (:
really hope that those who are taking the retest will be able to pass, and get promoted together as a class. really, really. JIAYOU.
another week has passed us, and i continue to confirm the fact that life is blissful now! pw is much more relaxing as only final touches are being added to our wr, and we're starting on op, which is much less tedious ;D
we're getting kinda slacky sometimes, it's funny how we just sat there during one pw lesson, tried to get some work done, but kept ending up chatting instead.
yy has got something against me because she keeps going against everything i say, and laughing at all the NORMAL stuff that i do! but i know she loves my nice & cheap hoody alot =P
she kept saying to jasmine, "LOOK AT YOUR FRIEND!", so when jas isn't around she cannot say that and she'll struggle HAHAHA.
but hahaha it's really great that the 5 of us got the chance to grow closer because we're in the same pw group. heh.
watched Julie&Julia with wolfie dear on tuesday! first movie after our exams ^^
it's a nice show, and it's based on a true story. the julia is so cute. and i witnessed the stuffing of a chicken! hahahaha. laughed like crazy at some parts!
top one is julia! :D
BON APPETITE~
we watched it at The Cathay, so had Pastamania before that, and then had an amusing time in all the random shops found at plaza sing. LOL.
and not to forget, Chippy's afterwards! sat outside plaza sing and kouped a spoon from 7eleven so that we could eat the chicken crisps :P
youtube videos are... laughs, laughs and more laughs. hahahaha...
have been having co this week! (but the next one will be after op)
sectionals wasn't as scary as i thought it'd be, because it's been really long since we had a last prac and i thought i've forgotten everything. HAHA. and i only got pointed out by hls once! :D
during combined prac i always look forward to dinnertime because my stomach would be growling during the practice all the time. even though i had M&Ms to distract me yesterday it still wasn't enough! and when the long-awaited dinnertime finally came i was full of joy!
tancheng, huiyi, meiqin and me always go to the secluded corner outside the library to enjoy our rice (and chilli!)
i remember there was once we couldn't stop laughing when one of us said something funny, and the rest began to sprout off random lameshit things, and it got so difficult to eat because we kept laughing! and we ended up being late for going back. yk even had to come out and call us! HAHAHA.
met wolfie for SUPPER after co ytd even though i just ate around 1hour before :P we saw TWO PERSONS which stunned us (not using the wand), and fate had it that we didnt need to stalk them, but saw them ONCE AGAIN, at a place that you'd last think of. OHMYTIAN I LAUGHED TILL I WAS HITTING THE WALL. hahahahahahahahahaha.
yishun is a really small place huh! hehe.
ok anyway i signed up for a camp! to get my nyaa award lah. and i'm actually excited about it! first time i'm excited for a camp! there's gonna be kayaking! YAY! another fond memory! ;D
so that's about all for this post! as aforementioned, i'll be blogging more frequently, so will write some more next time, soon! cheers :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
it suddenly struck me that wednesday is arriving.. in just less than two days..
i knew it was coming.. all the way back last week, when i knew that is going to be the day. but just suddenly, it made its presence felt so starkly. nerves jumbled up, that's what it did for me.
fear and worry... the first time that i'm scared of facing reality of this sort. the answer to all the hard work of the year. something.. that deems those efforts... fruitful or futile.
many things are telling me i should be prepared for the worst. counting and calculating.. and those bad dreams i had. some things tell me i shouldn't worry, that it isn't so bad. sometimes you castigate yourself.. that i shouldn't complain even if the worst do come true, because there're others out there who are facing worse..
sometimes you try telling yourself, that it's not your fault, that other things are the factors, that sometimes, life is just not within your control. but when it comes to this kind of thing, at this point in time.. finding excuses for yourself just aren't going to work anymore, isn't it? and to top if off... you really do not know, which are the excuses, and which are the real reasons. and sometimes you think you care, and at other times you don't. sometimes emotions become a surprise to even the ones feeling them.
when you start off with high expectations.. the harshness of failure will just be harder to bear. when you have people around you that you just don't wanna disappoint, what will happen, when the disappointment becomes true?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I decided that it's really time for me to resume blogging again!
after weeks of mugging hard for promos and days of deprived sleep, plus countless thoughts for everything to end quickly quickly quickly, LIFE IS FINALLY HERE AGAIN!
i remember the first day right after promos ended i actually slept till 1plus in the afternoon. now you can see how freaking tired it is! JC life is horrendous man. HAHA FOR ALL THOSE OUT THERE GRUMBLING ABOUT O LEVELS, JUST WAIT TILL YOU GET TO JC!!
despite a very badly done math paper (and not to forget the other papers that didn't go so well either), the five of us still went out for a celebratory meal after thursday, the last day of promos!
MANHATTAN FISH MARKET :D
from left: yanchng, jasmine, jingshi, me & xiaohui.then we decided to be romantic, and went to esplanade, then embarked on our tour of the Singapore River. what a great way to spend the day that ends all the hard work of the entire year!
went down to the merlion platform too, because 4 out of 5 of us has never seen the merlion up close before =P
we attracted lots of attention to ourselves because we kept screaming HELLO to the people cruising by all those little boats bobbling down the river. and we kept wahh-ing at all the things there even though we're singaporeans and shouldn't sound even more suagu than the many many other tourists there. HEHE.
the night scene just started to change before us when we were looking out over the river. before we knew it the buildings opposite us have all been lit up, together with the Singapore flyer, and everything looks like it has been transformed. hahaha and of course, we kept wahhing over that too! LOL.
took many photos!
the river at night.
and then i spent the rest of the days slacking, watching all the hk and korean dramas, READING HARRY POTTY :D, and going out to meet friends!
i love all these lazy afternoons and lazy nights, where there's nothing much that compels you to stop lazing around, other than pw which is pretty enjoyable compared to the promos before that. if only these days can go on and on! HEH.
will be going to my ahng's house tonight with my mum! LOOKING FORWARD! and tmr it'll be steamboat at jh's house! YAY!! =D
and before i go,
爱在记忆中找你
我对你这一生哪个可比
我与你差一些永远一起
邂逅时间场地似连场好戏
要自何页说起wow ho
爱太重深呼吸欠缺空气
爱太美轻轻的却载不起
爱情来到时候似明媚天气
它走了突然骤变雪落雨飞
如果可以恨你全力痛恨你
连遇上亦要躲避
无非想放下你还是挂念你
谁又会及我伤悲
前事最怕有人提起
就算怎么伸尽手臂
我们亦有一些距离
你太远该怎么说对不起
你太近一转身却已高飞
快乐也许太短似场流星雨
一眨眼就如幻觉怕又记起
我情愿我狠心憎你
我还在记忆中找你
I LOVE RAYMOND LAM !!! he win jaychou already!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TCG!!!
hope you have a sweet sweet seventeen.
thank you for all these years of being such a great and really special friend to me. much things i wanna say, some i've said in the card. the rest, i think you'll know it too :)
thank you, my dear prince!! take lots of care alright. :)
hahahahahhahahahahahaa. i know you love this photo and my nice complexion =D and funny glasses! HAHA.
gosh we really look quite cute actually!!!
Sunday, August 09, 2009
there are many things in life we can never figure out..
many things, many happenings that we see with our eyes, that make us ponder, reflect, and learn.
many people around us, that sometimes we realise have so much within them to learn from.
life and the people and the love, something granted to us, and something we're entitled to take good care of, and treasure.
this weekend was one of love.
friday was a day of friendship, of leaving and separation. i wish you all the best, loretta dear. i'm missing you, remember to take real good care :) you know everyone of us care about you alot alot alot.
with lots of love.yesterday was xinru's birthday celebration, when everyone gathered at my ahng's house and celebrated her birthday with her. the house was brimming with the adults, and lots of the little children!! and of course the middle-middle ones like me and my eldest niece and nephew.
all of us were fooling around, with the adults chatting together. my niece and i would be laughing secretly at the little funny stuff the young ones did, because we're old enough to laugh at them already. :P in years to come it'll be their turn too i guess!
it was nothing other than cool to see siting (1+ year old only) run up to xinru and hug her tight. maybe they'd become best friends next time.
jaryl was the only boy there and didn't play with the girls and we teased him that his favourite colour was pink. and when he entered the bedroom when xinru was in the toilet and i said that he was peeking at her! hahaha.
it was classic, when i took up the camera to snap a shot of the camera-shy yingying, and she held up her fake phone, and pressed the "camera button" (which actually produced a shutter sound) to counter my camera. omgosh my niece and i couldn't stop laughing at all!!
it was a moment to remember, to see how the usually-noisy xinru got the really shy look on her face and cuddled against us instead of standing up when we dimmed the lights and started singing happy birthday for her.
and how she refused to take a proper group photo because she wanted to walk to the front of the table where she can see her barney jellycake the right side up.
how she kept saying "xiaogugu" and holding tight onto my hand even when she was having her diapers changed because i was going home, and when tears welled up in her eyes and blotted out when i told her i had to go home, reminding me of the young me when my own ahng (her ahma now) was leaving me for the weekends. gosh it melted my heart.
that in one year she can grow up so much, and that in her two years (and many many more years ahead), to have brought so much joy to everyone. :)